I've had a very sleepless night. I went to bed at 3, and I woke up every hour with all kinds of thoughts running in my head. Then, I got a text from one of my very very close friend in the morning, she's getting married!! Yay. She mentioned very clearly that it is going to be a 2nd degree wedding, not because she's pregnant, and not because they've eloped. She said "We did something that God didn't allow". I replied right away, "I'm so proud of your honesty". I tried to go back to sleep, but I couldn't. With the very active mind that had been thinking all night, my thoughts continued to wander on the hottest topic a girl always like to talk about - Weddings.
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Kate Hudson, one of my fav actress, from the movie Bride Wars
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According to my church, couples who had slept together before marriage, cannot get married in church. They have to choose some place else. And I remember when we were small, the brides were not even allowed to wear a white dress, they are not allowed to have a white wedding, 'White' which stands for 'Purity' I guess. One of my cousins wore a yellow gown (:D).
So it has become every girl's dream every Mizo girl's dream to have a White wedding, to get married in a church wearing a beautiful dress. This has been an influence from the Western culture. We have been influenced so much with the Western world that, some of us take sex so casually, which creates a clash between a girl's dream of white wedding and the rule of not allowing to have one, if you had slept with your hubby-to-be. The thing with Western people is that, they do all these stuffs, but finally when they've made their choice of marriage, they still get to have a white wedding, which is not possible for us. Now, that's when the test of honesty comes.
Some couples cannot hide their little secret, because the girl becomes pregnant, I'm not going to talk about them. And I don't want to talk about the couples who got married with a secret and still get to have a White wedding, because whats done is done, they've made their choices. What I do want to talk about is, the couples who are yet to get married. With us being Christians, and many of us having titles in church and society, we tend to hide what has happened, afraid to stand up and confess our mistakes. And I've seen lovers breaking their relationship, just because they've done the un-permitted, and since they cannot reveal the truth to their parents and especially to the church, they choose to break up after all the "I love you's" and the "I want to live with you forever". Really? Tell me, where is the love??
Once, there were two lovers, and the girl got pregnant. She confessed before God, but the guy did not want to accept the child. He is the son of a church elder. He had asked her to undergo abortion, but she didn't. She had a son, on her own, and their son has all the features of his dad. The dad got married after many years to another girl, a white wedding of course, but till today, the wife cannot conceive. I'm not going to preach about what people should do, but we should all know, we have a creator up there, from whom we cannot hide, He sees us, and some day, one way or the other, He is going to act according to our behavior.
I don't want this post to be an encouragement to the young boys and girls to sleep with anyone they want. Get married a virgin. That's the best and that's what God wants. But to those who don't qualify to this, you should know it's not the end of the world. We are human, we make mistakes, we get cheated with our emotions. Nobody's perfect. With all the wrong paths that you have walked upon, you can make an U-turn and start walking the right path. Just be honest to God and He will forgive you. Forget about the glamorous white wedding and the titles you have in church, forget about the people who will talk about you because you had made a mistake. Like my friend here, she said her mom's really hurt, and she's going to be more ashamed when the church restricts her from attending important services for some months, after they get informed (Its a must that one should inform the church). I wish the best for them, and I'm 100 percent sure, that God will bless them for their honesty. And though I haven't met her fiance, I can tell that he's very bold and I'm happy my friend is marrying him. I wonder how many guys out there are as bold as him, a guy who isn't afraid to stand up for the truth. We say we hate corruptions, we hate lies, I wonder how many of us are planning to start a family with a lie.
Be brave, be honest. Let your dreams of having a white wedding be flexible, if its going to cost you your honesty. Aim for the more respected "Honest wedding".