Today, was a good day :-)
Lately, I have been down. I try to find reasons why. I find faults in people around me. Sms jokes don’t make me laugh no more. Chatting doesn’t help either. I run out of words to say. I don’t find facebook that amusing anymore. Sometimes, the sound of my nieces playing and chattering makes me sick. I get angry for no reason. I try to blame it on any one who crosses my way. I don’t find myself doing any progressive work in my research. I procastinate too much. I feel so lazy. And I feel so fat too! But finally, I found out, that no one’s to blame, but me.
I went extra early to bed last night coz I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. But I woke up several times in the night. First time I woke up from a dream I could vaguely remember, it was just 23:00, not even my bed time!
This morning I was up by 5:30, just in time to attend the 6 am prayer in church. It sure feels good to pray for someone, rather than for yourself. Don’t gasp, or make any “how nice of you to go and pray” flattering comments! It’s just that, I need it. I need to pray. And I’m ever so lazy to pray alone, my mind usually wanders off to some other thoughts. And when I pray with the ones having more faith and dedication to God than me, I feel stronger in faith, and I can concentrate more. I’ve had this habit of attending such morning service since last April, whether I hit the sack late or not. But I guess winter cold and my warm bed made me skip for months.
Went home, and prepared breakfast. I usually rush on other days, but today, I was so early that I had at least an hour before getting myself ready for work. So, I switched on the treadmill, kept the speed control in “Fat burning zone” *grin* and walked for about 20 minutes. Every time mom passed me by, she was like “Don’t do it too much on the first day!” (haha..) Moms!! But I love her :-)
Went to work by my faithful scooty. I love speed. And today, I could speed up as much as I wanted, at the same time controlled the brakes on every curves. It feels good to pass another scooty with a higher cc than mine. And I drove passed a few :-). My brother said once I mastered driving a scooty, he’d teach me how to ride a bike. Can’t wait!
And at work, I could finally complete entering the data of my findings my supervisor has been telling me to do before he gets back. He has been away taking the students for a class trip, and will be back next week.
I came home. We have a new maid. She doesn’t speak Mizo, and I don’t speak Hindi :-) And so, my evening was cooking which included lots of action and the “thoda thoda” Hindi that I could speak (hehe). We both enjoyed laughing at what we were trying to say.
End of the day, here I am, feeling content. My mistake was, I looked for happiness in others. I waited for someone or something to make my day. Sure I’ve got friends and family, who cares for me. But I realized that I should not depend on anyone, or on anything, because such things have limits. And I’m one of those people, who get bored when things remain so constant. I guess I’ve found myself today. And I’m the only one responsible, for my failure or success; my sadness or happiness.
I’m my best friend, and I’m my worst enemy
16 comments:
You are growing up! te han ti vel ila. Were you that bored?! hehe and yea!! We all love you... (spy an awm em lovang chu maw.. lolzz)
hmmm...zing trongtrai inkhomah kal ve teh ang...was wondering why u were no longer as active in FB :) n dont worry about not laughing at the SMS jokes..too much is definitely too much!bike ah chuan phur ve ngei a ngai ng
@joseph: Lolz.. I guess I am :-)Im a greater spy, no worries! haha
@ku2: i chuang ngam ang mo.. :-D
Mim, i appreciate that u made an effort to see deeper into urself than look around others to make u realize the kinda things that u've been going thru lately.
U know what i realized lately, it's hard to walk humbly with the Lord with a load packed with pride!!
love ya sis
nice read mim, you had a mood swing for one day, i am having it for the past three weeks now. i'm finding fault in everyone and in everything. you are way better off than i now that it did turn out to be a good day:) cheer up grl as far as the bike ride is concerned you can try out sangtea's or isaac's......but never mine :-p
@Priscilla: I know, sometimes its just so hard. And pride, pride, pride.. I gotta do something with this too. Love u too sis
@ice-man:hehe.. thanks pal. And why are'nt you here for the past two days? Missing you man.. There's no one I can play with or pull a prank on :D. Get back soon. And oh, about the bike, I sure wish I could handle a bullet. Would be so cool!!:-)
I guess 'depression' is very much a part of our lives now, so don't blame your self. I must say you turned to the right 'person'. Good for you.
You on a bullet bike? Will we be seeing you soon among the Aizawl Thunders ?
It's often a little thing that makes all the difference. So happy you wisely re-adjusted yourself to find happiness. We have to tackle the moods and not let them control us--easier said than done, though.
@dr_feelgood: Thanks. Well, I guess bullet's a lil too heavy for me. I wish I'd have the strength to handle one :-)
@mesjay: so true. Maybe sometimes its wiser to listen to the brain, and not the heart
Its called PMS.
urrrrghhh!! You are always a few steps ahead of me, of what i'm trying to do!!! *grrrr* :P :P
@illusionaire: hmmm.. "post" I guess :-)
@wonderboy: lolzz.. next in line is Bungy jumping and para gliding.. you can try that first if you want. hehe
Pre-Menstrual Syndrome :-P
very refreshing to read indeed!!! "Hrahsel" ho hi chu khawiah pawh kan laktlak deuh vek...:)hahaha... "Hrahsel Saza" a mi? but, i'm wondering what will you do if the Church is located in a place far away (30-40 kilometers) from your current residence?.
@Alejendro: ni maithei ni :D
@Epistemology: Thank you! Hrahsel saza ngat mawle. Kan naupan lai chuan "Hrahsel saza kham lawn thei" min tih tir kher thin kan u ten, in bawlna. LOL.. Well, If the church is far away, maybe then I'll have to pray at home, so that my daily chores may not be delayed :-)
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