claire

a disclosure

Exam - The 12 Week Challenge

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Last night, I was thinking whether I'd be able to go home this winter. While every one was heading towards home for the holidays last year, I was heading away leaving behind a new unworn pair of boots that I've ordered from NEXT. I had to spend the most awaited days of my life - Christmas, My birthday and New year away from home. I can't predict my stay here in IITG, either my boss will extend my stay, or he might tell me to pack my stuffs in October (Its a three months extension basis). Whatever it may be, I have to be here on 23rd December, to write an exam. So either if I stay here, or if I come from home, I will be needing a flight ticket to home before Christmas. I was just browsing through Make my trip site, then I saw a cheap ticket, I bought it without any second thoughts, with all the money I've got in my bank account. But I still can't be sure whether I'll be able to make this trip, its all in God's hands, I should leave it according to His will. 

Ever since I've Post graduated, me and my friends have been applying for the National Eligibility Test (NET), in which we always fail to succeed. My best friend in Chennai once told me "Mimi, I think its a waste. It's like I'm donating 800rs (400 June exam + 400 Dec exam) every year to CSIR". She's from general class, so she had to pay 400rs for applying while we, from the Scheduled Tribe have to pay 100rs.

There are many reasons why we can't clear this exam. Our subject comes under Life Science, and the exam is conducted jointly by Council of Scientific & Industrial Research (CSIR) and University Grants Commission (UGC) . Its not like those other subjects which has been conducted solely by the UGC, and we do not have an exam center in Mizoram. The nearest centers are either Imphal, Guwahati or Kolkata. So we get a little sad when every once in a while, someone updates their fb status "I've cleared NET", and our relatives asks, "How about you?". Its annoying to explain every time, "Their NET and our NET isn't the same!" Unlike the exams conducted by the UGC, there is a 25% negative marking for each wrong answer, and the question itself is very very tricky.

Ok, keeping the excuses aside, whether we like it or not, we have to give this exam. There's no point in wailing about it. And frankly, we don't study, and surely we don't deserve to clear it without studying. Most times I did not attempt the exam, coz I had to travel, and I thought it was a waste of time and money to attempt an exam which I didn't study for. 

I called up Mom this morning, to tell her about the ticket that I've bought for December. She was happy about it. She said she has been having a dedicated prayer exclusively for me these days, and as a matter of fact she was just about to pray when I called her. She wants me to clear this exam. It has been dragging for so long. And truth be told, I'm not a very bright person, I succeed only when I study and work for something. In my B.Sc years, I got 98% in Botany and with it, I broke the record in University of Mysore, and every one thought I was so bright and smart. Well, they did not know how much I studied. I want to be that person again. Someone who works hard, and achieves a fruit out of it.

I turned the pages of the NET syllabus today, click HERE in case your interested to know about it. There are, in short, 13 units, and I have exactly 12 weeks and few days left to face the exam. The 13 units itself has been divided into so many parts, and its a combination of Botany, Zoology, Immunology, Microbiology, Human Genetics etc. I have to get my lazy brain to work. And so I plan to update my progress every week here in my blog, so that I can keep myself disciplined. This little project is going to be tough I know, and my research/lab work will go on in between. But I gotta do what I gotta do! So even if I can't clear the test, I can at least be content about it and say that "I've tried".

To my blog readers - I need your prayers and support, I will keep you updated every week. To mom - please keep praying for me, I will try my best to achieve what you wanted. To that sweet guy who might want some time with me - I will not be available much, and I can't stop you from not talking to other girls. But I promise, once I get done with this test, and if your'e still interested, I can make you a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate, on a cold winters' night, and we can cuddle up and watch a movie next to our fireplace :-) To Social Networking - I will not try to hibernate from you, because seriously, you have been a part of me since my B.Sc days, and you never were a reason that I don't do well in anything. I hate it when people think its Facebook that controls you. You should control it, don't let it control you. Wish me luck guys.

*NERD MODE ON* 







Have you met Mimi Hrahsel?

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If not, you should. She's beautiful, intelligent and smart. A down to earth kind of girl. She's an awesome writer, she's good with words. You should visit her blog. If you want to be her man, you have to be good to her. She takes relationships seriously. She likes it when it rains. She grew up falling in love with MLTR songs. She loves to try out different kinds of food, and she loves to travel. The best thing I like about her, is that she's a true Mizo girl. She'll stand up for who she is. If she finds out any Mizo name written wrongly in national newspapers, or any false rumors about the clan, she will write thousands of complaints if she has to. She is friends with Makima, Chhama and Casey.

Yes, here she is... *drum roll*  The lovely Mimi Hrahsel!


Oh wait, there's two of them. Which one am I talking about?

Gotcha! I bet you were thinking - "Why is this girl bragging about herself?". Were you? hmm? hmmm? hmmmmmm? :P

Anyways, I'm going to write about a girl whom I've come to know in the online world, due to our names being similar. Mimi (the pretty one in black jacket) and me, we were often tagged wrongly in Facebook photos (Facebook did not show thumbnails that time while tagging, it was just names). We have lots of friends in common. So whenever someone uploads her picture, they would tag me. I think it was vice versa too, right Mim? And there are fans like Amos who would enjoy the similarities of our names, and he would be hyper-excited if we both comment on his posts. Sometimes he would comment "Will the real Mimi Hrahsel please stand up?", or sometimes "Ka thi dawn! Mimi Hrahsel leh Mimi Hrahsel in an lo comment!". Hehe, Dear Amos, we pronounce you our number one fan :D. We had our mutual friends confused many times. And some of them would beg, "One of you please change your name!". For some time, due to the much begging and pleading, I changed my fb name to 'Meme Hrahsel', then everyone started to call me 'Me Me' (Me pronounced as in Ma-nicure). I got fed up, so I changed back to Mimi, this time both M's in big letters - MiMi Hrahsel :-)

Frankly, in the beginning, I got a little irritated. I was thinking "Who is this girl, why can't she just change her name, and she's friends with my friends too?!" I think I've ignored few friend requests because her friends and cousins thought I was her. (Sorry Mims). Later, we added each other as friends. Then, I came to learn the so many similarities we have. "She's cool, she's really cool" was my second opinion and my forever will be - opinion about her (unless she plans to steal my boyfriend or something :P). Now, every once in a while, I get emails which was meant for her, or requests on Instagram, I'd forward/inform about it to her with a smile. I guess I'm getting used to it.

Keeping aside the similarities, I think she's the smarter and hotter version of me. Unlike me, she's good in fashion. She dresses way cooler than me. A graduate from IIMB, she's working at ZOVI right now. Independent and intelligent. One among the Mizo girls that I respect.

So, after many wrong taggings and comments, we finally got to meet while I was attending a conference at IISc, Bangalore in November 2010. I can't tell who was more excited, us or our friends (haha). We had a good time at 'Kyra - The restaurant' where a Mizo band Boomarang was performing. Too bad I couldn't stay for long since I had to catch a night bus going to Chennai, and Makima had to pay 400Rs for eating peanuts only (wahahahaha). But it was worth a visit. If I were to stay in Bangalore, I'm sure they would be the circle of friends I'd end up with.

Finding out and getting to know people having a name like yours, ain't that bad at all :-)

PS: Visit Mimi's blog at mimiehrahsel.blogspot.com. You'll see how good a writer she is.











Unlike most girls

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This morning, I was on my way to lab, as usual with my iPod in the pocket. But I noticed that it got stuck, and so I was music-less for 20 mins. Luckily it was slightly drizzling, and the weather was perfect. So my walk to the lab was not lengthening (without music) as I supposed it would be. I enjoyed the drizzle and the breeze. This iPod is special, because it was a birthday gift from Prissy in year 2008, and at the back its inscribed "Live it out Mim. Love, Kim". Its something I couldn't afford otherwise, so it becomes a treasure. As soon as I reached the lab, I told Adree about it, and I googled on how I should get it fixed. I had the answer at one go, "Press the middle button and the menu button for 5 to 15 seconds, and an Apple logo will appear". I followed the instructions and it worked. I was relieved. Adree asked me how I googled. I told her that I have just typed "Ipod hang". She said, "Mimi, you have a boy's mind. If I were you, I would have typed - My ipod got hanged, what shall I do?". We laughed.

When I was small, I hardly wore skirts. Well, growing up with five big brothers, I was much more comfortable with pants. I didn't even know how to sit while wearing a skirt. I remember in one of my Sunday school photos, we were in Beginner's department, all the girls sat nicely, covering whatever they had to cover, while I was sitting with all my panty showing. Gee! What an embarrassment :-) The other day, on our Meeting with Aduhi, and my sample collection (mentioned in the previous post), there was a bomb scare just outside where we had dinner and all the traffic was halted. Brother 2 was the one who had sent those samples. So he asked me if I have received my stuffs or not. I told him we went there, and there was a bomb scare. He replied "What if ur bombed? Ud survive. Coz ur bullet/bomb proof since childhood!" 

 I guess Adree's right. I may have a boy's mind. Because the other day, I saw a photo shared on 9gag about 'boy vs girl's desktop'. My desktop is quite neat, and my bed is always made. So I was thinking, maybe I'm in between :D (jk). But when I've come to think of it, I'm not like most girls, and it has its pros and cons.

Unlike most girls (pros): 
I'm not afraid of the dark. And I'm not afraid of insects or snakes or lizards or frogs. I can carry my own luggage without asking someone's help. I'd go twice or thrice back and forth if I have to. I'm not afraid to stay in the lab up to 12am on my own. My lab-mates would be worried sometimes, if my work gets prolonged. I know there are securities inside the campus, so I feel that I'm quite safe, while some of my girl-friends would need company if they were to stay late. I can change gas cylinders when it gets emptied while cooking, provided the full cylinder should have a trolley. And I can carry empty gas cylinders from my house to the distributing point, which may be about 50 paces (:D). I'm not afraid of syringe and injections. I can swallow medicines ever since childhood. I can travel alone (train/bus/plane), and I remember staying up all night alone in Kolkata airport because I did not get room to stay (This, I guess some girls can do too, but, just mentioning!). When I was small, I used to get sick while traveling by road. So we would just hang a carry bag on my neck, and I'd just puke whenever I felt like it without disturbing the others. Cool eh? :P 

Unlike most girls (cons):
Cleaning rice - Buh thlei
I cannot arrange flowers even though I admire them. I cannot sew dresses and clothes (I can put buttons :D). Mom and dad are both experts in stitching and tailoring stuffs, and their daughter is zero at it (hihi). I don't know which color eye-shadow would match my eyes, or in which pattern I should apply. I don't know which lipstick color would match my lips. I don't know dress designs, I wear whatever my tailor stitches for me. I'm not interested in the trending fashion. I don't know how to fix my hair, leave it straight or tie it up. On occasions, curl it. That's all I got. I have just one color nail-polish. Mocha express from Revlon. I feel uneasy using colors like bright red, or blue or black, but I love it when its used by other girls. Due to my allergy/sinusitis, I cannot clean the rice in our traditional way of "Buh thlei". I guess, of all the cons mentioned, buh thlei may be one of the things I want to learn most, but my sneezing nose and watery eyes just wouldn't let me. I'd sit with mom whenever she brings out rice to clean, then I'd end up lying in bed with a running nose. So I gave up trying. 

To all the girls who can do all these things that I cannot do - RESPECT!





Meeting Aduhi Chawngthu

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Me and Chhamanator were on our way to meet our blogger friend Aduhi who had come to Guwahati a few days back. We were on the bus which was about an hour drive to reach where she stayed. I asked Chhamanator, "Do you know where Aduhi lives, back in Mizoram?" He replied "Nope!". "Have you met her before?"  He said, "No, this will be my first time too." It's always exciting to meet someone for the first time, whom you have known (online) for quite some time. I started blogging three years ago, and I remember changing my blog layout quite often because I could not find the 'neat' template I wanted - a template which would reflect a 'Diary' since my blog is all about a disclosure of my diary. One day, while reading Aduhi's blog, I recognized she was using a new 'notepad-like' template, and it was exactly what I wanted. So I hunted something similar for myself, and that is how I got my 'now' template. I haven't changed it ever since. 

Pssst... This link leads to our first online interaction. Click THIS. :-)

I've been always impressed with the way she writes. She writes great stories too! She uses simple words, which I don't have to 'google' about, and it is easy to read, for a non-literature student and a non-book reader like myself. I'm not interested in reading books. Yup! That's why I love blogs. They are short and sweet. Way before I started to have my own blog, Aduhi's blog was one of the blogs I visited most, which I would find on the right side of a Mizo website misual.com put up by my cousin Sandman. I was not sure whether it would be impolite to just comment on a stranger's blog, so, many posts I read and left un-commented. But I guess I did the right thing when I started putting up my comments, she promptly commented on mine, and then, we added each other on Facebook, and then, we finally get to meet :-)

Our arrival was much delayed since we were caught up in traffic jam. We texted and called each other in between. While texting, I remember one of her blog post where she wrote about how she hated using short cut words in sms, so I kept in mind to use the correct words :-). I also remembered Sandman's post where he wrote about online friends. We don't know where they live nor their parents name or what their parents do, or their real names, but what we do know is their likes and dislikes, their favorite color, their birthdays, the kind of music they like, their opinion about the society or politics, and so on. That is whats exciting about meeting online friends. You don't know them, but you actually know them pretty well :D. 

Finally, we arrived. We shook hands and started to talk. You wouldn't believe how smooth the conversation went. There was nothing awkward about it. Seems as if we are long lost friends, who could finally meet after so many years. She said, "You're shorter than I expected". We all laughed. She must have thought I was having a supermodel figure or something :P. We took her to a restaurant nearby, where we had Mutton biryani. I guess we made a mistake on taking her to a North-East biryani shop, to a person who has come from the land of biryani itself (Hyderabad). It must not have been what she expected, but she ate without any complain. The best part was, I could actually talk and laugh to tears with her. It was fun.

I don't want to take credit for travelling more than an hour to meet her, because honestly, it was a day that my samples were to arrive from Mizoram. They've been sending it every week, so I had to go and collect it, and she happened to be in town, and Chhamanator was kind enough to come along. Since our campus is that far from the city, we don't usually go there, if not for church, or good food, or for shopping. But I would be lying if I say it was not worth to meet her. I'm glad we did. We bid goodbye, with lingering memories of the short meeting. The next meeting, we know not when. 

So, here's a toast to online world, to blogging and to the good friends it had brought me. 
Cheers!



Adree

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She calls me Mimi
I call her Adree
We both love Chicken Tandoori

She calls me monkey
I call her donkey
Yay we are both funky

She asks me why I'm sad
I tell her the reason why I'm mad
And she tries her best to make me glad

She reads books
I sing from hymnbooks
We both love great cooks

She asks me all kinds of questions with "Why"
I answer her "Because the sky so high"
Which makes us both smile

We may one day become scientists
I hope we don't end up being a stylist
At least we should achieve to be a cyclist

She wants me to mention her in my blog
So before she beats me with a log
I'm jotting down words prior to her morning jog

Hey Adree! I'm in a poetic mood
I'm sorry if this is not good
But I know I can still cheer you up with food


NB: Trying out a poem for my friend, who has been more or less like a mom to me, advising me and guiding me in all possible ways, but sometimes she's like a baby too :P

Happy birthday, in advance, my dear friend
I'm glad to have you in my life




Proud to be a Mizo

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When using the above picture as my Facebook cover photo (which was designed by my friend Samuel), it got many ‘Likes’. But one of my friends frankly commented “I don’t get this, is there something to be proud of, or even if I was British or American... I still won’t get it. It’s something which happened by accident of birth and not something we've achieved”. It got me thinking, she has a point there. What am I proud of?

When I was a little girl, I always thought I was less fortunate. Television made me see white skin colored girls, with all the good toys, blonde hairs and pretty smiles. They have clean city and good roads, beautiful houses and green lawns, they have washing machines and dish washers, they have yellow school buses, they get to wear anything they want in school, they have their own lockers, they have prom nights and campings, they have beaches and resorts, movie theatres and music schools, and if they can act or sing or play a game, they become millionaires by the time they turn sixteen. Well, that was what media and movies taught me about ‘Sap’ (the Western people). They seem to enjoy life so much. “Dear God, why wasn’t I born a Sap?” was my question many a times.

In Mizoram, our roads are small, rough and curvy. Our houses are one inch apart from our neighbors, the city is congested. It’s a better option to walk, because you’ll get stuck in traffic jams full of government vehicles trying to reach their offices situated within the city area. The internet speed becomes super slow, we don’t have Domino’s Pizza, KFC and big air-conditioned shopping malls, we don’t have good playgrounds for sportsmen, we have corrupted politicians, and when it rains, we get landslides. Majority of us are Christians, but we all don’t show a Christian lifestyle, there are murders and fights, thefts and prostitutions. The evilness of today’s world is slowly creeping in to our very young State, a State with a population of 10.91lakh, invading the innocent minds like any other people in the world.

In spite of all these, I’ve slowly come to realize the reason why I am proud. I’m proud of the fact that, even though so young a tribe, we have achieved so much. We rank 1st in literacy according to the Census of India report, and our HDI (Human Development Index) is marked High. Ours is the only state without homeless. This shows how much we are trying. We may not have the best resource or the best technology, but we have a social connection with each other, and humanity still exists in our soul. Last month, two young people got lost near a river, and it touched the hearts of the entire Mizo clan, and many of them set out to search for them. We have a quality called ‘Tlawmngaihna’, which doesn’t have an exact word in English, but may be close to ‘selfless service for others’. When someone dies, even if it is a person whom we don’t know, we are ready to stay up all night and mourn with the grieving family. When we found out that Mom had cancer, I couldn’t believe the many people who came and prayed for her, people that we haven’t even talked to in our lives. This is what we do, as a Mizo and as a Christian. They say that Tlawmngaihna is fading among the youths; well we have to make sure that it doesn’t, and I personally feel that it will not, because it is God’s special gift to us.

Our women, they are beautiful, ambitious and smart. They have good head on their shoulders. I’m proud of our men, even though so possessive and they sometimes come up with the not so appreciative comments to girls above 25 years saying “I in la young” when she puts on a dress, or has a new hair style, or rides a bicycle or gets adapted to new age music. I find it annoying (:P). Most of us girls complain about their “narrow mindedness” when it comes to interracial relationships and marriages, but if we give it a clear thought, they ought to be. Because they are born as “men” and it is their responsibility to preserve the race, a race having a population not even enough to open Shopper’s Stop and Movie theatres and eateries like Pizza Hut or Café Coffee Day, to earn profits. Yes, that is how less we are. And it hurts them to see their own girls being taken by an already well-established race. So, maybe we should cut them some slack.  After all, they may talk harsh, but do we really see them break legs and bones when their sister/daughter gets married to the love of her life? They slowly accept and bless, with an aching heart.

So, even though we may not have green lawns and beautiful houses, my Mizoram is still beautiful, because it looks green from top and it has beautiful people inside. Our roads may be rough and curvy, but our hearts are smooth and reliable. The government is doing its best to promote sports and education; I bet the coming generation will make us more proud, because things are getting developed. We will excel in arts and music, because we are good at it, we just need the right platform to exhibit our talents. Our school children look smart and tidy in their school uniforms. Our politicians do corrupt, but then, don’t all politicians do? Our houses may be one inch close to our neighbors, but we treat each other as families. Traffic jam? Yes, you can't escape that. But our drivers are polite and they don't honk the horns any time they like. We may not live up to the expected Christian lifestyle, but then again, nobody’s perfect. We may see landslides during monsoon, and at the same time it gives us a chance to see the many tlawmngai guys, ever willing to help one who gets stuck in the mud, or to clear the road. We may not have big shopping malls, but we have the latest of fashion in the world, and we have talented tailors who can stitch all the designs we need. Our shops may not have AC but the weather itself is air-conditioned. We may not have Hard Rock Cafe or McDonalds, but our taste buds only really gets satisfied with Mizo dishes like Sachek and Vawklubai and Sawhchiar.

Now, coming back to the photo comment, I guess being “Proud to be a Mizo” means being proud of who we are. God created us for a purpose and we are born for a reason. So whether you are born a Mizo, or a Bengali, or a Tamil, or an African, or American, or European, or even a cocktail of two races, just be proud of who you are. Being born this way may not be something we have achieved, but I have learned in my path of life, that people who are happy with who they are, are the most fortunate people, and that sure is something to be proud of.

As for me, I am Proud to be a Mizo :-) and I leave you with one of my favorite Mizo song

"Zam ngai lo Vala tang ta che, I ram leh hnam humhim nan"

















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